DorEm Answers

Hi Dorigen,

I have 329 days to go before I can purchase clothes again. As mentioned, I am allowing an exception – the purchase of one pair of jeans (or jean shorts) if absolutely necessary, i.e. just in time before my blue jeans disintegrate again. I have already cut up a pair of black moto jeans with a crotch of questionable integrity for shorts, so that leaves the possibility of jeans “actual.”

I own three pairs – 1 black (newish), 2 blue (oldish) – they are all skinny jeans, and I would like to try a new shape. Apparently, the most flattering jeans are boot cut or straight leg, so (in typical form), I have been sniffing around shapes that are rarely recommended, in particular one I have not worn in 20+ years, when the 70’s was cool again the last time – bell bottoms. I’m trying to balance out a round belly, so I thought a high rise bell bottom could be a flattering option; that is until you sent me a picture of Jessica Simpson looking her absolute worst.

hey, girl, hey

Thank you.

Em

Well hello there Dorigen,

Long time no blog chat. I hear you had a niece for me. Thank you. Now, on to fashion. I recently 80% decided to stop buying clothes for 1 year, and have been met with mixed reviews from family, friends, co-workers, really anyone who will fall into a conversation with me.

But, here’s the rolling thought…

A few months back I happily and without regret had a fabulous stylist do a closet consultation for me – what can go, what can be added, and what are outfits that work with what I have. I ended up purchasing some additional items, and I am happy with what I bought. Also, in my recent visit, you gifted me some hoop earring and other jewelry staples from your fab wardrobe. So, now I am wondering – at what point is my wardrobe complete? “Complete” in the I-could-go-a-year sense. Do I really need to turn 90 by the time this seemingly miraculous event occurs?

I argue, no-ish.

So, (I totally snuck in another dress purchase on 3/26), I have now 81% decided to stop buying clothes until 3/27/16.

• This includes: clothes, shoes, bags, coats, jewelry, scarves, belts, etc.
• This excludes: undies, bras, tights/cheap leggings, socks, etc.
• Exceptions: A) I get to buy 1 pair of jeans (which could be jean shorts) and B) if something rips at work, and cannot be fixed with a handy sewing kit.

Am I crazy pants?

Em

P.S. Today, I wore the Black Friday Dress.

Dear Dorigen,

Happy Thanksgiving / Thankskilling!  I 100% went online last night and bought a Black Friday dress.

Thank you Asos

I am concerned that Asos is a bit “juniors” in their sizing, so hopefully this fashion quilt with pockets fits.  Otherwise, I will have to wear the same holiday festive dress I wore last year to my company’s holiday party.

I always want to put an “e” on Ann[e] Taylor.

I have not worn it since, because I have had no other occasion to wear elbow sleeves with clown ruffles.

Love you,

Em

Dorigen,

As a grown woman in my 30’s, are over-the-knee boots fabulous or shameful?

These are too rich for my blood and are listed as “5th Avenue Extended-Front Knee Boot.”

Ok, full disclosure – so, that picture shows some super cute boots, and if I was actually able to buy those, there would be no question that I would buy them, regardless of your response.

But, you know I’m checking out these from, you guessed it, Aerosoles.

Love,

Emily

Dearest Emily,

As a working mom, I have to say over-the-knee boots are totally impractical and a waste of money.  And that I would also totally rock those ones above in a heartbeat.  Personally, I think over-the-knee boots that hit just at the knee are totally leg-elongating and cute.  Any higher and you get into Pretty Woman territory and nobody needs that.  Your brand-loyalty to Aerosoles is steadfast and enduring, and I find those boots to be pretty cute and safe for the price, though they are faux leather, which needs to be seen in person.  

But I have to ask, why do shoe stores name all of their shoes? WHY are the boots you linked to called “Baking Sota”? Is that a pun?  Because I’ve spent several minutes thinking about it and I am coming up blank.  It’s not even descriptive. 

This one, for instance, is called “Bridel Suite”:

Why??  So it’s an alternative spelling of “bridal suite.”  There is nothing bridal about a tall black boot.  “Bridle Suite” might have kind of worked because it’s sort of a riding-boot style and bridle=horse-related, ok I can get there.  But Bridel? I googled it and it’s a town in Luxembourg.  Is there a wacky tongue-in-cheek boot-related reference I’m missing here?

On this search, I also found a link to the website of one David Bridel, “choreographer, teacher of acting, movement and clown”.   I wonder how many people looking for reasonably-priced bridal gowns end up on his site, and how many end up hiring him as a clown for their special day.  Probably none.

Fondly,
Dorigen

Dorigen,

Please explain a cape dress.

And should I buy this?

Love,

Emily

Dear Emily,

Cape dresses are really having a moment right now, and I have to say, I think they are FABULOUS.  One of my favorite Oscar night dresses this year was Diane Kruger’s graphic black and white ball of cuteness:

Adorable, right?? And Gwyneth Paltrow, who I have never liked, but who has been Working It fashion-wise for the past few years, KILLED it at the Oscars last year in this sleek number.  She looks like a G.

Speaking of being a “G.” When Django Unchained first opened, there was all sorts of a kerfluffle in the media about Quentin Tarantino’s treatment of slavery – was it accurate? too flip? crass entertainment at the expense of a delicate and horrific part of our nation’s history, etc?  I would say no and yes, and maybe, but my favorite commentary was when a Facebook friend-of-a-friend living in Cleveland noted “Sure, spaghetti western and sure, 70’s and yes slavery. And yes, everyone is making pretty sound critiques both pro and con, but as the young kid (17 or so) leaving the theatre said, “damn that movie made me feel like a fucking G!” This has become my new criteria for whether I like a movie or not.  Did I leave the theater feeling like a fucking G?  For this year’s Oscar nominees, I will say Silver Linings Playbook: absolutely not; Zero Dark Thirty: yes!; Argo: a little bit like a G.  At any rate, Gwyneth Paltrow in her cape dress?  A G.

That said, I think a cape dress is really hard to pull off in real life.  They are being marketed and sold, such as this pretty freaking cute (and currently sold out) one from L.A.M.B.:

I mean, that’s pretty bad-ass.  It’s got the sleekness of Gwynnie’s combined with the younger and twee-er length of Diane’s.  Would I get laughed out of the office if I showed up in that to work? Yes.  I think you need to be either a 16-year-old model or a 60+ wealthy Upper East Side widow to pull off a cape.  It also seems like it would really get in the way of certain things, such as sitting down.  That said, still fabulous.  If you have the balls to pull it off, do it!

Love, Dorigen