DorEm Answers

Dorigen,

On a personal note I cannot deal with hair anymore.  Again.  I am thinking of getting a pixie cut variant. Again.  What are your thoughts on these…

BTW, that cute haircut I got recently stayed cute for one day.  I cannot with styling.  The above seem hassle free – some product, light straightening.

Love,

Emily

Emily,

The pixie is a bold bold move.  One I’ve never had the cojones to do, but one I think you can pull off.  First, you have a nicely shaped head. Second, your hair has a wave to it, which will keep your hair from limply lying flat on your head.  Third, you seem to always be able to communicate the exact look you are going for to stylists, something I have never had any success with.  But be wary, the pixie can veer into horrible horrible places. For every cute cut up there (I particularly like Ginnifer Goodwin’s, even though I think it looks terrible on HER), there is one that should serve as a warning to you. 

A modern pixie should have a little bang sweeping across the forehead, something that no one told Hayden Panettiere before she got this career-ruining disaster.

Or Pink!, apparently.  Actually, that’s not even a pixie, that’s a full on 1996 Clooney ceasar, and it’s horrible. 

And to underline the importance of hair texture, I present Kate Moss.  Arguable the most beautiful woman alive, she was NOT pulling this off.  I think it’s because her hair is relatively fine and straight, making this look like a limp sad mess.  It’s actually just not a very good cut either. 

Compare with Shannyn Sossamon.  Her hair has a bit more texture to it, it’s a sassy cut styled well, and she looks adorable.  It probably doesn’t hurt that she’s flatteringly back-lit. Try to always position yourself in relation to the light in a similar manner.

In closing, I say GO FOR IT.  Just be wary and very very clear with your stylist.  Good luck, and no matter what, WORK IT!

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Here’s the new do….

Although I’ve had this cut before, it does take some getting used to.  I am trying out best clothes to wear, and have found an earring or a necklace really helps.

Also, I don’t care if I look like a boy and I don’t care if I look like a lesbian, I just don’t want to look like Justin Bieber.  I think I have succeeded.  No?

Emily

Dorigen,

Please explain a romper.

Emily

Emily,

I don’t really understand how this happened.  Until a few years ago, a romper was a one-piece playsuit for babies, also known as a onesie.  

Having never had a baby, I’m not sure what the practical benefits are of a one-piece outfit.  Maybe it saves you from having to continually tuck in your toddler’s shirts?  Less laundry than separates?  The legs cover unsightly diaper rash that a dress might expose?  I’m not sure. At any rate, suddenly it has become a fashion item for grown women – an easy breezy summer staple for hitting up barbecues and festivals.  I would like to point out, however, that baby  rompers have a major design feature that adult rompers lack: crotch snaps.  

There is no good way to navigate a port-o-potty in a romper.  But the idea of a crotch snap brings back nightmarish visions of the bodysuits of the early 90’s. This one has the added features of being a ribbed knit and having a mock turtleneck, just how we liked to wear them with our high waisted jeans.

I admit that I do find today’s lady rompers much cuter than the bodysuits of yore, but will probably look back and wonder what I was thinking.  I will close this post with the most awesome clip ever, which I found searching the internet for 90s bodysuit.  Rosie Perez working it OUT on Soul Train to Whitney Houston’s ‘So Emotional.’  You’re welcome.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Your SWV post brought me back.  Please explain a bamboo earring.

Emily

Emily,

I am officially lost in late-80s/early-90s nostalgia.  Or as Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam would say, I am lost in emotion.

Bamboo earrings are chunky gold earrings shaped like bamboo that were favored by “around the way girls” in the 80s.  I have no idea who came up with the concept or how they became so ubiquitous, but Lisa, Angela, Pamela and Renee all wore them.  And, seriously, how awesome was this song and video?

I certainly had my own pair of bamboo earrings.  I also had a pair of mustard colored denim overalls that I wore with one strap down.  And my best friend Loraine had a pair of bright blue overalls that she wore with the opposite strap down and we wore them at under-18 hip hop nights where we would do the dance routines we had worked on all week after school.  Because we thought we were Sidney and Sharane from House Party.  

I wonder if they still have those nights.  They were sponsored by Milwaukee’s R&B & Hip Hop radio station (Fresh 107 or something like that) and were held in low-rent hotel ballrooms and named after a hit song of the day.  Jackin’ For Beats had a long run.  There was a Jackin’ for Beats night part 13, if I recall correctly.  A lot of people wore Skidz.

I have gone too deep into this nostalgia vortex for the moment and I now need to lie in a fetal position and read Game of Thrones.   Goodnight.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Please explain coconut water.

Emily

Emily,

I have nothing bad to say about coconut water.  I think it’s delicious, it’s low in calories and apparently it’s more hydrating than gatorade.  Jeff think’s it tastes like sweat.  

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Please explain a feather earring.

Emily

Emily,

I’ve always been kind of creeped out by feather jewelry.  Mostly because I am freaked out by birds in general, having seen Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds at an impressionable age.  

I am also freaked out by bird-bourne diseases (avian flu anyone?), having read The Andromeda Strain, which I think was actually assigned reading in a middle school science class, at an impressionable age.  I’m sure the feathers used in feather jewelry are not just picked up off the ground in the park, as I imagine they are, but you never can tell when you’re going to be exposed to a virus that could potentially wipe out humanity.  Which could totally happen, as we’ve learned from countless films.  Here is a fun top-ten list of Epidemic Movies to underscore my point. 

Also, that sh*t is tacky.

Dorigen