DorEm Answers

Emily,

The Hunger Games film comes out this week.  Will it live up to the hype??  Is it the new Twilight???  People need to know!

Fondly,

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Oh, “The Hunger Games” films will be fantastically terrible, just awful. 

They will be successful by my standards if they are watchable, as in the case with the very bad “Twilight” movies, and I have admittedly cried at each one (even after multiple viewings).  I expect to also cry at “The Hunger Games,” because those mediocre books really tugged at my heartstrings. 

To break it down in trilogy style, here is why the “The Hunger Games” will decadently fail…

Part 1

The books have been so popular, that the filmmakers will do everything in their power to stay true to the text, fearing earnest death threats from loyal preteens.  I am very open to altering content to adapt to a new medium.  The one exception being the altered ending of the final Harry Potter film; it ruined the whole film for me, and there is a danger that any change will do the same to legions of viewers of “The Hunger Games.”  But a point-by-point adaptation does not a good movie make. 

Part 2

The magnitude of the violence in the books will not be present in the films, as to retain a PG-13 rating.  This MAY be a good thing, if they keep the moments, but only through implication – i.e. the use of clever filming and sound.  For example, the scene in “Fanny and Alexander,” when Alexander is given a beating, we only hear it and see the extent of it’s violence in the expressions of the witnesses.  Still, these directorial tactics can be much more effective and therefore greatly terrify the young viewers.  Instead scenes will be cut or tempered.

Part 3

Josh Hutcherson is 4’2”. 

He plays a major role: Peeta (not a typo), who is (*spoiler*) a love interest of the main character, Katniss (also not a typo).  By unfair comparison, the other love interest, Gale (yes, it’s a boy’s name in this world) played by Miley Cyrus’s boyfriend (therefore, no real name necessary), is somewhere around 8’11’’.  Really any character will need to be filmed twenty paces behind him and on a down slope to make it look like they are walking side by side.  I can’t image the cost of making all of those moats for Katniss to stand in so she only has to only slightly lean down to kiss him.  Ok, so supposedly, Hutcherson is really 5’7”, but, come on, it’s a small 5’7”.

Epiloguely speaking, “The Hunger Games” will make gazillions of dollars and will certainly find their spot in my DVD collection, where they will not collect dust, but they will collect shame.

Love you,

Emily 

Emily,

I am too busy at work to have complete thoughts today so have gone to the comments for this one.  Thanks P/O.
“Chokers: soon to be back in style?”

God, I hope not,

Dorigen

Dorigen and P/O,

May I first just point out that I 100% have Shannen Doherty’s hair from the above picture right now.  I was also recently told that I look like Daria, but that I “probably get that comment a lot.”

*Ahem*, I DO NOT get that comment a lot, and I hope to never get it again by NEVER being seen with my arms crossed and in a surly disposition.  Wait, I’m sort of surly right now and crossing my arms over this keyboard.  Still, thank you, my dear sister, for pointing out that at least I wasn’t told I look like Velma.

Zoinks!  I guess you’re right.  Anywho, I concur with my sister’s concern about chokers.  This happened recently…

…and it is a sign of the Apocalypse.  An Apocalypse caused by us all choking ourselves to decadently bejeweled death.  Let the neck breath!  What?  A high neckline isn’t demure enough and you have to cover up the inches between it and your chin?  Show us a small patch of skin, so we know you’re still alive.

Confession time: I remember that in the 1990’s (high school) I used to perma-wear a black ribbon knotted around my neck.  It would rot off after a couple of months, and then I’d replace it with another.

Now I see fit to judge others, and I thank you to stare.

Emily