DorEm Answers

Emily,

Though this is by definition a family blog, I need to know your thoughts on the video below.  What the F is this???? I am disturbed and intrigued.  Seriously.  What.  Warning: there is offensive language and imagery in the video below.  View at your own risk.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Yes, this video is deliciously unsettling. 

For those unfamiliar with the term “reading,” this video may suggest that reading is some kind of violent, aggressive act, something to be feared.  Reading certainly can be, but it is not a physical act, it is purely verbal (ok, and it’s also a bit psychological).  “Read” is slang for insulting someone, and its origins are in the LGBTQ+ community.

Your homework is to watch “Paris is Burning” on repeat.

 Knowing that “reading” is not physical, I interpret any reference to violence in the Zebra Katz video as purely metaphoric. 

Even if you didn’t previously know the term “reading,” anyone can relate to the specific moment that the Katz video is painting – that expansively intense preparation before an after-school “fight.”  Anticipation is frequently much worse than the actual confrontation, and this music video is all anticipation, made especially unsettling with the faceless drones dancing to a dark, almost empty, beat. 

Everyone in this music video is playing the scary crazy card, a much stronger tactic when entering a battle (than, say, anger), and it is also a clear addition to the decadent history of horror rap.  “Horror Rap?!” you say, well perhaps the most famous is The Geto Boys’s “My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me”…

 ..but there are so many other classics: Boogiemonster’s “Old Man Jacob’s Well,” Pharcyde’s “4 Better of 4 Worse,” Digital Underground’s “Danger Zone,” and when was the last time you saw Kris Kross’s “I Missed the Bus” video?  I’m just sayin.’ 

I appreciate that “reading” and gender-ambiguous dancers found their way into the rap world, and I am legit scared of them.  It is a tremendous positive to see anything of LGBTQ+ roots put into a position of strength, power, and beautiful intimidation. 

Just remember, don’t start nothin’; there won’t be nothing.’ 

Emily

Dorigen and Madeleine,

Here’s another question submitted by a reader:

“In honor of your sister site… ‘Sisters are doing it for themselves’ = please explain. That duet (Aretha and Annie Lennox?) seems so unlikely, and the Simpsons ref (w Bart and Milhouse jumping on the bed singing it, in drag) is too too sweet.”

Thanks Madeleine!  As any drag queen worth her weight in sequins will tell you, the 80’s were a decade of female empowerment and consequently, shoulder pads.  To put this into perspective, in 1985, the same year as the Aretha / Annie duet, another pairing happened…

Now, this may have been your jam back in the day (as it was mine), but you must admit that this odd gyration needed a voice of reason.  It needed the voice of a woman.  Aretha and Annie were tellin’ it like it is, not dancing for their lives in fear of their hearts exploding, because of all the cocaine that was snorted between takes.

As far as Bart and Milhouse goes…

…I love the idea of two kids trying out nonsense.  Although, a simple connection is that some would argue that Milhouse is gay.

Still, the “sisters” song is very empowering, and the video makes me want to start wearing construction hats on the regular.

Thanks for the question!

Emily

Dorigen & P/O,

While Dorigen is in the process of moving from Manhattan to Brooklyn, I thought I’d take a look at another question submitted by P/O:

“What is the relationship between TV’s Benson and Kudos candy bars? Provide links.”

Initially, I assumed that this was a nonsensical question, like Alice in Wonderland’s “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”  This is something with no answer, but the question itself implies some specific response.

And then I saw this:

This Kudos commercial reads like any 80’s sitcom with a cast of exaggerated / unrealistic characters that deserve to be mocked.  Benson, the straight talking butler, would have had many an off-handed comment to say about these “Krazy” for Kudos people / off-off-Broadway musical understudies.

Also, is this question about race?  Is this another instance of the “white people are crazy” comedy standard, with the African American being the voice of reason?  It’s often hard to argue with this stance.  I mean, have you seen Lawrence Welk?!

In the case of Benson, he seems to be the most capable and human of the bunch, yet he is not the head of the household of crazies.  Sitcoms and advertisements may not be realistic portrayals of our everyday lives, but they point to conventions that wide audiences can understand.  Benson and Kudos are not afraid to serotype into hilariously ridiculous proportions, and perhaps that’s why they’re both so offensively delicious.

Emily

Dorigen,

Please explain cobrasnaking in detail, including recommended posing tips and visual examples.

Work.  I’m forreals in need of some tried and true practices to make me look cute in photos.  I am tired of the busted nonsense that I have to untag on Facebook, because everybody and their mother has a camera phone and feels the need to share.

Emily

Emily,

The Cobrasnake is a website run by some dude named Mark Hunter, who looks kind of douchey and caused a buzz with his site a few years ago. 

He basically goes to bars and parties and takes pictures of drunk hipsters posing.  I shamefacedly include myself in the sea of said posing hipsters (see above).  He spawned a bunch of copycats and along with the party sites and the style blogs, it seemed like you couldn’t leave the house without finding young people dressed up, posing and taking pictures of each other.  Much ridicule and backlash ensued:

Typical Cobrasnake poses are done in dark bars, holding drinks, preferably cans of PBR.  Poses are sexy and dead-eyed and flashy clothes are worn.  Wacky props are always helpful.

Women are frequently in various states of undress and often use their hair pulled across their face to make a moustache.    Bonus points are given if you somehow are able to pose with Chloe Sevigny or celebrity DJ Steve Aoki. 

I am an old married lady and no longer have the energy to go to bars, so can only take you this far. 

Dorigen